Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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