careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I need moral support for this bender
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
