He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
