I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
babies were throwing up all over the place
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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