she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
