dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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