Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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