I'm really into asian looking animals
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
