Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
