i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
