there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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