haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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