i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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