I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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