i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
