it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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