i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
