hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
