Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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