We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
