They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
