who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
