Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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