guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
