I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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