so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
