Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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