google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
this hospital has no fireball
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
