He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
