so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
