can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
