he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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