puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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