I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
