apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
