please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
