So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize