You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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