im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
