To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
