Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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