I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
