Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
