I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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