I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
