Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
