I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Randomize
