somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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