do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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