the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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