She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize