They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
