I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
