All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
