Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
