I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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