out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
